So I was having one of those google R. Kelly nights that a woman has from time to time. And I googled R. Kelly dick and this picture came up. It would be wrong not to share. I don’t even have a real response to this.
MasonRoseLee
Dudes in clothes: gift wrapping a sausage.
It started with Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling. And now we have What Chuck Wore. Sometimes I look in a dude’s eyes to see the base of the dick, you know. Also, let it be noted I met Mr. Bass at a real swanky open bar party for Eva Amurri’s bday (natch, I was double-fisting a ‘Goose dirty martini and a glass of Cristal). I strolled over to him and started chatting him up about how I wanted to interview him for BUST; we made our way over to a corner where he sang Remix to Ignition to me in a British accent while that other dude from Gossip Girl with the gay face stood by looking gay. A friend of mine went to a GG wrap party where I instructed him to remind my new flame of how deep his love for me was and that if he wanted we could do the entire interview in song a la Trapped in the Closet, and that would rule my world. Sadly, he must sing Kels to errrrybody, or he was fully loaded, ’cause he didn’t remember that magic moment at all. Either way, at least I remember the serenade. And seriously even if it wasn’t Chuck Fucking Hotness Bass I would have totally fallen for any British rendition of Kels, unless it was I Believe I Can Fly…just shut the fuck up with that.
Flight of the Conchords vs R Kelly
Calisha Jenkins walked in the door and told me there was a R. Kelly inspired song on the last episode of Flight of the Conchords. Immediately our night was transformed. I fucking fucking love this song. I would love nothing more than for Jemaine and Bret to be on the cover of Ligerbeat beat side my side with their dicks in two hot dog buns covered with ketchup and mustard while relish was being squirted out of their d-licious Lord to the Rings dingdongs. Christ Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Everything we do is based on R. Kelly.
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masonroselee