Fun with photoraphy

These were flicked on a recent Ligerbeat field trip to the only camp grounds in Brooklyn. Big ups to the Cutthroats fam for embracing our essences.

Which one’s for you?

May 30, 2009. boners, camping, cutthroats, life goes on. 1 comment.

Stoned To The Bone.

My bestie Ryder Ripps sent me this pic in my email. I need it in my life, I want it in my life! Also, Its Friday! To celebrate I suggest you watch this video he posted on the 21st. The best part, for me personally, is the Rolling Stone cover with Brad Pitt on it next to the upside down American flag. Oh, and the way he walks to the camera to turn it off.

May 22, 2009. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

i now like being employed and having some down time to draw for my beaters…..
if you have any good ideas for me to draw that are liger worthy…. leave a comment… you just might see it up here!

May 20, 2009. drawing dick, life goes on. Leave a comment.


The famous Ryder Ripps said he dedicated a blog to me. At first I thought he meant this and laughed my ass off. But then I saw this gem to the left. I am glad to see they had the smarts to list something to put all the dicks in, cause I never forget to pick up the dicks but I always forget something to carry them in! I think I should sting a couple of these dick gourds on a necklace for a nice summery tropical dick hunter look. And of course, I can keep them in a bowl when I get them back to the nest. Thanks Ripps, I gotta get back to my tie dying now, seriously. 

May 17, 2009. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Get Sucked into Snatch Monster.

I was googling “something to carry dicks in” and I came across this doozy of a site, Snatch Monster.

Part of the inscription on this painting was translated to: “I too want to rub and rub my suckers at the ridge of your furry place until you dissapear and then I’ll suck some more.” Clearly this is an OctoSuckYoPuss, a lesbian demon octopus that sucks the life out of your pussy–I mean clearly. Also, thanks Snatch Monster for the zebra dick. I have no idea how I missed that dong while doing research for Animal Boners (see below).

May 16, 2009. animals, calisha jenkins, drunky brewster, the japanese. Leave a comment.

Oldie but a goodie.

Sometimes it pays to be unemployed and have time to sit around looking at you and your friends’ lives over the past few years on flickr.

With all my spare time, I was able to find a gem such as this, with a Beater herself looking a trouser snake dead in the eye!

May 16, 2009. boner, Brooklyn, calisha jenkins, life goes on, the chickenhut. Leave a comment.

Boys pee pee when they see me.

Okay, dear Beaters. Let me just clear up any potential confusion on this subject before your pervy lil’ gears get to spinnin’ by stating that I am in no way shape or form into getting peed on. I may be submissive but I prefer to keep my showers clear, not golden. If you’re one of those girls who gets off on walking around with your man’s piss in your hair, more power to you, but Crackie don’t play that.  

That being said, it has always sort of fascinated me that most men are totally unafraid to drain the snake in public, popo and passersby be damned. It’s right up there with dudes drinking milk straight from the carton, opening beer bottles with lighters, switching lanes while switching gears, and other things that I am perfectly capable of doing myself but would rather see done by a meaty pair of (preferably heavily tattooed) forearms. If that makes you mad, like maybe you’re feeling like you want to take away my feminizzle card, then so be it, but I want no part in any club that doesn’t let me trick men into doing physical labor for me. Fuck outta here with that mess, I got nails to maintain, ya heard?

But back to the splatter at hand. Shit is masculine as fuck. I mean, think about it. The ease with which they assume that solid, legs-slightly-parted stance; the blatant disregard to catching a public urination charge (no small potatoes here in New York, where violators are required to register as sex offenders); and the fact that you know they’re touching their dick, albeit in a completely nonsexual context: all of these things make me feel all warm and fuzzy in my no-no place.  

And then at the same time, there’s a vulnerability factor there that can’t be overlooked. Standing there, eyes closed, head tilted slightly back, lost in the relief of emptying a probs booze-filled bladder–they’re totally immersed in the euphoria of the pee. That combination of fierceness and susceptibility is, if you think about it, one of the most lovable occurrences in nature. (For the record, I think girls who are ballsy enough to drop trou under the wild blue yonder are also rad as fuck, but since this is a blog about how much we love dick, I’ll leave that one to another time and place.)

I’ve talked to some other ladies about whether or not this particular interest qualifies me for legit creep status. Calisha Jenkins, for example, does not see the appeal. But I’ve heard tell of other chicks who are equally fascinated, if not more so. So, with that in mind, I bring you the first in a series of original photographs meant to objectify dudes taking leaks (because, after all, we are female chauvinists if nothing else). What do you think, girls? Gross? Hot? Leave it in the comments, yo.

May 13, 2009. crackie treehorn, feminizzle, ginger dick, nyc, public urination, we love scumbags. 1 comment.

Dudes in clothes: gift wrapping a sausage.

It started with Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling. And now we have What Chuck Wore. Sometimes I look in a dude’s eyes to see the base of the dick, you know. Also, let it be noted I met Mr. Bass at a real swanky open bar party for Eva Amurri’s bday (natch, I was double-fisting a ‘Goose dirty martini and a glass of Cristal). I strolled over to him and started chatting him up about how I wanted to interview him for BUST; we made our way over to a corner where he sang Remix to Ignition to me in a British accent while that other dude from Gossip Girl with the gay face stood by looking gay. A friend of mine went to a GG wrap party where I instructed him to remind my new flame of how deep his love for me was and that if he wanted we could do the entire interview in song a la Trapped in the Closet, and that would rule my world. Sadly, he must sing Kels to errrrybody, or he was fully loaded, ’cause he didn’t remember that magic moment at all. Either way, at least I remember the serenade. And seriously even if it wasn’t Chuck Fucking Hotness Bass I would have totally fallen for any British rendition of Kels, unless it was I Believe I Can Fly…just shut the fuck up with that. 

So yeah, sometimes I look at dudes in clothes and I like it, don’t hate.


May 8, 2009. celebrity crushes, chuck bass, R Kelly, ryan gosling. Leave a comment.

Calvin Klein loves dick

If there are two things I love it’s Dicks and Fashion. This season I hope to be wearing both of these things. Calvin Klein’s allows us to have our cake and eat it too.


May 8, 2009. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Picasso knew what was going on.

I have always been a huge fan of Picasso. I knew he had an appetite. But I was not aware of how sexual in nature that appetite was. So today, I would like to toast Picasso. I lift my glass of wine to you. As a Woman Who Loves Dick, I share your inspiration.


May 8, 2009. dick art, ladies who love the d, masonroselee, picasso. Leave a comment.

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