Dicks In Our Box: Dr. Getsum

My life has been interesting these past few weeks.

It was a good weekend; I had sex with two guys in the past three days. Yet sometimes, this city can be so frustrating. I was prowling for some good make out action at the chicken hut party but the floor was covered with eighteen-year-old dudes. I found myself wondering, can I have sex with someone who is 10 year younger than me?

I walked over to my ladies and said, “What does a girl have to do to get laid in this city?” Right then a guy promptly walked up to me and said hello. He looked like a mixture of Beck and Napoleon Dynamite. We talked briefly and then I grabbed his hand and we went to the dance floor. After about 5 minutes of dancing I was sitting on top of him on a dirty sofa, while his cold hands caressed my warm breast.

I was wet in minutes. He told me he lived in another apartment downstairs. We guzzled down the rest of our beers quickly and rushed downstairs. The city gave me this boy as a gift and I was ready to unwrap him. We walked into his apartment, I took my hair down and we fell on his bed. I wrapped my legs around his long torso as he put his hands around my rib cage and began worshiping my tits.

There is nothing my tits like more than being worshiped, kissed and prayed upon. We kissed and laughed every few minutes and I turned his bed into a fucking lazy pool. He pulled out his dick and I got lost in a world of dick, pussy, weed and beer. I know I shouldn’t blow dudes I barely know, but fuck it! You gotta live a little, right? If I’m going to get AIDS from blowing a dude it better be the best fucking blowjob of my life.

We were about to fuck then all of the sudden my good friend showed up, DRUNK DICK! I assured him I understood I was fucking wasted as well, but pussy always works. You can’t get my pussy to drunk to fuck. I fell asleep with swollen lips from kissing and warm arms around me.

I slowly woke up to him on top of me. The good morning fuck made up for the drunk dick the night before. That morning he showed me his paintings. They were good, almost good enough to make me forget the Enya that came on his stereo while we were having sex. We made breakfast together and watched Arrested Development. He told me he was leaving for a month and asked me if he could see me the next day for dinner. I told him no, I had shit to do but if he wanted to fuck he could call me around 1am. He told me that I had the sex drive of a gay man. I liked that.

He came over the next day at around 1am. We had beers and bagels with cream cheese. I am extremely attracted to him. We went upstairs and he pulled out an arsenal of condoms. He fucked me proper. Maybe I will call him again. Did I mention he was 6’3”?


The weekend as short as it is can seem extremely long when you are getting fucked by two hot dudes. I was sitting in the living room with my roommate when one of her dude’s and his drunken friends came over. It was around 2 in the morning when they stumbled into our house in search of smoke and hopeful fornication. We luckily have an abundance of both of those things. The hours got later and later and it was time for the wasted boy to go to sleep. My friend took one to her room and I was left with the other one downstairs. I am a sexaholic so I quickly ran upstairs to avoid fornication. I came back downstairs later to get the plug to my Mac so I could watch Internet TV. I saw him on the sofa and he looked at me and said in the sweetest voice “please don’t make me sleep alone down here.” I told him, “fine you can sleep on the floor but I’m watching TV so don’t bother me”.

He looked adorable in his little underwear naked covered with tattoos.
We started talking and he told me he was from out of town, just finished his BA and was looking forward to moving to the South to live. I assured him that he was a hottie and it will be really easy to get laid in NY.

He was like the little lost puppy in the Wizard of Oz. He sat very close to me on my bed and placed his hand lightly on my bum. I was thinking do I fuck him? How drunk is this dude? Do I really want to miss this episode of 30 Rock? I checked my pussy and it was wet so I went for it.

He was waiting for me to kiss him, so I did without any hesitation. He is one of my favorite types to fuck; the spastic fuck type. He was bigger than me, so the added weight to the pressure of his dick going in my pussy was much appreciated. He had large lips and was a very sweet kisser. He begged and then demanded to go down on me. What southern girl would say no? He clenched my thighs with his hands and buried his head in my pussy.

Drunk sex is wonderful. If it wasn’t for drunk sex wonderful things like a guy burping in your vagina would not be acceptable. Also sloppy making out and knocking over furniture would be much more difficult. You also have a whole new vocabulary full of filthy things that are only appropriate after several drinks. I came once that night and twice in the morning. We fucked to R. Kelly and he even let me take pictures. Thanks baby. I’m gonna make you a star. I’m going to put your dick in lights.

meet our new super cute Liger Dr. Getsum
known pornographer

March 3, 2009. burping vagina, dr getsum, ligerbeat, three day weekend. 1 comment.