Top 10 reasons why chubby dudes are the shit.

1. Can do stuff like pick you up and carry heavy shit with minimal effort.
2. Fat fingers = better fingerbangs.
3. Big ham hock thighs = more power to the push.
4. Don’t leave those icky pelvic bone bruises after a marathon session.
5. Are usually a little bit more humble because they’re less likely to have a bunch of superficial bitches gassing them up.
6. Fat kid mentality is cute as shit.
7. When you lay your head on their chest and there’s that inch or so of chub with muscle underneath it makes the best pillow ever.
8. Are just generally more cuddly and better at making you feel surrounded.
9. Scare off creepy dudes better than skinny guys. Nothing is more embarrassing than walking down the street with your boo and getting hollered at anyways.
10. Are always down for an epic grub mission which usually makes for a pretty good bonding experience (see below).

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June 4, 2009. chubby chasers, crackie treehorn, cuddling, fingerbanging, food boners. 2 comments.

Clit’rature: Down by the River, Pt. 1

We meet in dark alleys. Back rooms of dive bars. Borrowed cars. Sleazy motels that rent by the hour. Parts of town they don’t even know about, where we won’t get caught. Whenever we can, it’s not often, so there’s always a pressing sense of urgency.

This time I lead you down by the train bridge on the river. Where we used to go do drugs in high school. We cross the tracks and stumble down the hill, you push me up against the trestles. The heat of your breath on the nape of my neck, hand wrapped sweetly around my jaw, moving up, your thumb touching my bottom lip by accident at first, then pulling it down so you can put your first two fingers inside my mouth–you pull them out and go up my skirt, grab a fat handful of the bottom of my ass, give it a good slap with the ill backspin bounce, then touch my clit with your thumb–light touch tease–but I jerk myself up and your hand, still wet with spit, slips down and you feel how fucking drenched I already am–you laugh, say shit girl, you get so goddamn wet–I say you always get me so fucking wet–and suddenly you slam three fingers in, without warning, but I’m plenty greased up so they go in easy–I gasp, there’s no air left in my lungs, just good pain, getting better with every thrust, the heat spreading over my chest, flushing up into my face, we sink into the dirty ground, I bite my lip, so fucking close and then the feeling stops–you put your fingers back in my mouth so I can taste myself and before I can get mad at you for halting so abruptly, you’re guiding my hand down with yours, in between my legs.

I tell you I want to taste you too–but you won’t let me yet, you’re still holding me down by my my hand on my cunt–I struggle against your chest, trying to push you off, trying to climb on top of you, until you finally let go and roll over into the wet ground, pulling me with you. So now I’m sitting on top, my wet pussy dripping onto the bulge in your jeans–I get super fucking excited when it’s my turn to please you. I’m trying to undo your belt buckle but my fingers are all wet with cum and I can’t get it open quick enough–you have to push my hands away and unbuckle yourself, and then you draw back and let me go to work. You know how much I love having this power over you and you fucking love it.

To be continued…

March 18, 2009. boner, clit'rature, fingerbanging, ligerbeat, tits magoo. 1 comment.