Ride and Die? Screw that! Nekked Bikers Protest 12/19/09

It’s a dark tale…of death, corruption, and bigotry abounding in our little corner of Brooklyn. The American youth has posted up throughout the borough, screaming as Santigold put it best; “Its our time, put the lights on us!” Its more than just a coagulation of individuals in a general age group, its a bubbling, surging brew of revolution – by no means unique, but surely needed in a time when the world community has realized…‘Sh*t….that didn’t work. What now?’ There is a lifestyle affixed to sed revolutes: straight women with access to porn, barter employment systems, and BIKING. C’mon, no emissions, no feeding $2.25 to a transit system that can’t even provide handicap access, no fat ass (ehem you know that whole obesity thing is an issue)….and the more people who ride, the less SUV congestion we have on our hands. Its sugary goodness. And if you’ve never taken a high speed dive through the streets of brooklyn with the wind in your respritory cavities and graffitti in your peripherals, then my friend, you are missing out on life.

As good as that all sounds, the Hasidic community of Bedford Avenue disagrees. In 2007 the city acquiesced to the pleas of Brooklyn Bikers and installed an $11,000 bike lane on Bedford Avenue; a straight safe shot to the Williamsburg Bridge (a main vein between the boroughs). However, this november the city threw another $15,000 into the proverbial toilet to SANDBLAST THE BIKE LANE OFF. Why? Well, religious pundits of the Hassidic community had claimed that the bike lane makes it hard for their gentlemen to ‘avert their eyes from the scantily clad female bikers’ and poses a threat to children exiting school buses. [blank stare] Its NOVEMBER! The argument is moot, we don’t normally tend to ride in our skivies during the winter. And I assure you, we will see and avoid your child crossing the street because we HAVE to pay attention – but that douche in an x-terra trying to download shakira on his blackberry may not. Seeing as this cash and submission came up curiously around an election, we’d like to share a few thoughts with Bloomberg, pundits and Community:

1). We are not dumb. Good work on making that corruption so blatant, it makes your argument void. Just admit that there is some ironic discrimination against a cultural group going on from the curly side.
2). Hasidic Community: You would like to pray as you wish AND NOT GET MURDERED. We would like to ride as we wish AND NOT GET MURDERED. Can we work on NOT GETTING MURDERED TOGETHER?! I beseech this community to remember those WE have lost (and ps my family tree has some digit tats too). Observe the Ghost Bikes popping up in and around the Williamsburg Bridge in rapid succession. Those are fallen brothers and sisters dood, killed by cars who decided they have more of a right to life and way.
3). Calling all Revolutionaries!! JOIN OUR FELLOW CANDY RAINER, HEATHER LOOP, IN PROTEST THIS SATUDAY. Attendees will be riding on the here-today-gone-tomorrw path in only their UNDERWEAR as a snarky call-out of that lie. For details, check this MSNBC Article. Support our right to RIDE! And peep the REVOLUTIONARIES who repainted the bike lane and were later arrested by the two-faced powers that be. (I hate when the term vigilante is misused – we are not punishing the Hasidic Community, we are protecting our lives)!

(heather loop 2nd to left)

Text Book Definitions:
Vigilante – A vigilante is someone who illegally punishes someone for perceived offenses, or participates in a group which metes out extrajudicial punishment to such a person. Often the victims are criminals in the legal sense, however a vigilante may follow a different definition of criminal than the local law.
Members of community watch programs and others who use legal means of bringing people to justice are not considered vigilantes. For example, in 1979 Curtis Sliwa founded the Guardian Angels in New York City, a recognized crime fighting organization that now has chapters in many other cities. See also citizen’s arrest.

Revolutionary – A revolutionary is a person who either actively participates in, or advocates revolution.[1] Also, when used as an adjective, the term revolutionary refers to something that has a major, sudden impact on society or on some aspect of human endeavour.

Bigotry – A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices.
The correct use of the term requires the elements of obstinacy, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing devotion. The origin of the word bigot and bigoterie in English dates back to at least 1598, via Middle French, and started with the sense of “religious hypocrite“. Forms of bigotry may have a related ideology or world views.
‘Til Next Time – Rubbin’ Out

December 18, 2009. bike, Bike lane, corruption, Hassidic Jews, protest. Leave a comment.