Cuddle Puddle Breakdown

It was Friday the 13th, and the early New York skyline looked as though it would live up to the date’s incorrigible dogma. But for the women who were in the know, the skies could only be ‘rainin’ men’ at Liger Beat’s official unveiling of its new moniker, Candy Rain.

From the ‘burg over to the ‘slope, and from the ‘heights down to the ‘stuy, all of Brooklyn came to represent and give sugary kisses to the Candy Rain Girls. The night warmed up with a bang as the first guest gladly whipped out his Johnson for the camera. And he wasn’t the first dashing dude to take advantage of Candy Rain’s signature recession buster: A dick pic trade for free cover. We collected over 100 shots of longs, skinnies, balonie ponies and leaner wieners for your viewing pleasure my fair ladies. All to be seen in our upcoming issues of course (*winks*). Though yours truly was on ‘pep talk the CoverDood Contestants’ duty for most of the first bands, I couldn’t resist but to get my mini mosh on for Womb Ripper’s wicked set. But I must say my fan fave of the night was for sure Plush & Harmony’s sweet rendition of ‘Candy’. Replete with butterscotches and dum dums on stage (which shortly thereafter fell victim to the mouths of hungry women devoid of a 5-second rule); Felicia Plush rose majestically to the stage in a pantsless shocking pink sequined leotard that would make even GaGa writhe with jealousy while Reginald Harmony strummed to his lady’s cooing in the hawtest pair of bronze hot pants this side of Germany. It was sexilicious, and a great limbering up for the event of the evening – the Candy Rain CoverDood Contest.

Reining over the proceedings in a vintage Laura Ashley masterpiece was Madame Calisha Jenkins, who corralled the first round of hotties before their lady judges (dusty white wigs included!). The first horse out of the gate (or boxers rather) was our boy from Hood Ink – never makin’ the ladies wait for the main attraction. The obvious dry ups were shooed away quickly after a few seconds of ‘I’m sooo not with that guy’ dance moves, leaving a tasty harvest behind. The team work was on point in Round Two, with the boy’s hot body pyramid coming in a very close second to the beauty with the magic hands – Ladies, this man got a condom on a banana in under 5 seconds flat! Now that’s a talent you can bring to the bank. The crowd was becoming tangibly titillated as the rest of the ponies came out to play. A few unsuccessful stage dives (“b*tch I ain’ catchin’ your drunk ass!”) and sexy pull ups later we were on to the Feats of Strength: a pantsless airplane ride for our three lucky volunteers. The competition was fierce as it came down to only two – the Pretty boy and our boy at Hood Ink. Though Pretty was looking to be the for sure winner, he booooombed at the final test. Ladies we asked this dood, “How do you know she came?” and the subsequent “Uuuuugghhh” was seriously stoppin’ up the waterworks, that’s until Hood Ink came to the rescue with the perfect answer: “I know she came when I can feel it in my mouth!” Bah BAAAM! And the saucy Spaniard took the trophy and our wet dream. Look forward to his cover shoot featuring guns and black lights and check out his amazing glowy tats. And now if you’re wondering what the major malfunction was with the runner up, I got it on the up and up from my beautiful GBFF, Caramel Blondé, that the babe was definitely not knockin’ boots with any cowgirls if you know what I mean (alls the better for us that our stallion was straight). Turning around from the contest, we were greeted by a rad æon-esque aerial performance – with the one and only Lady Circus suspended in the air over us by a metal link chain. The rest of the evening was for the Dance-a-holics and our boy DirtyFinger on the tables was tearin’ it up. If you missed it, you’re certainly a sorry suckah – but no worries my fair, we’ll be back at cha before you can say sweet dick!

Til Next Time – Rubbin’ Out

xxLyla DurdeNxx

November 17, 2009. 171 lombardy, benefit, Brooklyn, candy rain, coverdood, dick pics, dirty finger, fundraiser, hood ink, Liger Beat, loft party, plush n harmony, porn, pornography, tattoos, womb ripper. Leave a comment.

Oldie but a goodie.

Sometimes it pays to be unemployed and have time to sit around looking at you and your friends’ lives over the past few years on flickr.

With all my spare time, I was able to find a gem such as this, with a Beater herself looking a trouser snake dead in the eye!

May 16, 2009. boner, Brooklyn, calisha jenkins, life goes on, the chickenhut. Leave a comment.

Ligerbeat Road Trip TAKE 2

I am currently sitting on the Chinatown bus. I have my coat on the seat next to me with my briefcase so It looks like someone else is already sitting here. I just started coughing to try to protect my seat from outsiders but the percentage of a seat alone is in the low percentile. I am going to Brooklyn on business. Not New York but Brooklyn. Brooklyn is a brothel of sin and pleasure. It is cheap beer, broken teeth, broken streets, a mash up of fashion and art. It is where I will call home for the new few days.

I am going all out for Ligerbeat this weekend. We are so close to print. Being a known pornographer has turned out to be the best job in the history of the world. The three things I want most in life are Good Sex, Power and last but certainly not least Dresses. Lots of dresses. Gold dresses, black dresses, short dresses. I want to be wrapped in a world of chiffon and lace while directing a double penetration scene.

Hello world welcome to the life of Mason Rose Lee. I wish this bus would move faster. I am so far away from my beloved Ligers. It was less than two years ago I started dicking down with the fine ladies of Ligerbeat. There is something nice about being able to sit down comfortably open a beer and talk about the love for some hard D. Delicious D.I.C.K.

Tonight the ladies will be in full effect. We are official dick recorders. And we are looking an yearning for you. I will be out looking for NERD D tonight. So put on your over sized glasses and throw on your star wars shirt boys. I am coming for you.

MasonRoseLee
Known Pornorgapher
Dino Dickologist

February 20, 2009. Brooklyn, fantasy dick, ligerbeat, masonroselee, nerd dick. Leave a comment.